[Black Wings]

I sat on my bed. The tears rolled down my face, showing a shine on my skin. I felt like he cared, like he loved me, no matter what. The phone dropped from my hand, bouncing off the floor. Then I got up and I stood there, in the middle of my room... Motionless. Everything was still, even time had stopped. Except those tears, which kept forming and moving down my face. He said goodbye, to find someone else... He was the only one... He led me to believe that... He said that he loved me for always and forever that same day, only minutes before. I believed him. I really thought he did, and thought he knew that I felt the same way.
He didn't care... DId he ever care? The way that I did for him? Did he know how my heart aches in my chest, how it just stopped beating with the time, just layed in my body, just being crippled.
No... He didn't... And why should I tell him? I didn't ever want to force him into anything... But He did with me, He forced me to let go... To say goodbye, and never come back. Is that how he thought of me? As a person to tug back and forth on, then just let her drop, aching when she was punctured by the pointed rocks in the pit where she would never come out of?
Did he know that she felt useless, just wanting to die, just wanting him to know... that she still loved him...Even when he didn't care... even when he didn't unerstand... Even when he said goodbye.
Her life, my life, was spiraling... Their last kiss, their first kiss didn't mean anything to him.... like it had to her...
He didn't love her, and she was too blind to relize that she should have kept on, should have tugged onto him and showed him the light in her eyes, the sparkling tears that lit up the night...

But he would never know... any of it...
She would have to be strong, even when she felt the weight on her, crushing her bones, ripping her skin... She would just have to be there in the back of his mind, waiting until he realized what she had already known... But how long would it take him to understand? TO know that times were hard on her, just as they were on him, to realize that everybody had difficulties, and she wanted to see, she made effort, and when she asked him to come over, he denied her. He denied going to her birthday party, denied seeing her that very day that he let her go. Should she be a butterfly set free, fly away and never come back? Should she feel that the bow he kept her in was her only home, the place she felt safe in?

Would any of this even matter to him? Would he ever know how she felt inside and outsife? Only time would be the answer... Only he could be the one to decide... like he did before, without her...