Spelling is Everything

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you know the Bible, even a little, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a Catholic
elementary school test. Kids were asked questions about the Old and
New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect
spelling has been left in).

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating
the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
like Delilah.

6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread which is bread without any ingredients.

8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.

9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the
Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
stand still and he obeyed him.

13. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought the
Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

14. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the
Magna Carta.

16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found
Jesus in the manager.

17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his xhead.

19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others
before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.

20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get
the tombstone off the entrance.

21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.

22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

23. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which
is another name for marriage.

25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

"i feel sorry for these teachers i mean OMG how stupid can u get?"

OMG....Emaculate Contraption, that bout made me fall out of my chair...the people living below me would have been pissed off had i made a thud on their ceiling.

Holy Codfish! That's hilarious!

[Caer Ibormeith]

I just reread that...I got so confused!

12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
stand still and he obeyed him.

This would sertainly be true if Joshua's son was a todaler at the time

[Caer Ibormeith]

*Laughing* Yeah!

*laughs and attempts not to pee herself*

Oh god! When I taught Sunday school, the little kids had some of the craziest things like that. wayyy too funny!

[Meline Kana Noriuma]

Hey!!i use to sya stuff like that in sunday school to annoy my sunday school teachers....shhhhh.....i wasn't a part of a church choir or girl scouts or sunday school saying stuff like that cause i didn't knwo any better.....sh..no telling...