Just a Couple of Questions For Y'all!

[Caer Ibormeith]

1. Can you cry under water?
2. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
3. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
4. Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
5. Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
6. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
7. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
8. What disease did cured ham actually have?
9. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
10. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
11. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
12. If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
13. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
14. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
15. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America???
16. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
17. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
18. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
20. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
21. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
22. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? (I've always wondered..)
23. When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
24. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
25. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
26. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
27. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
28. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
29. What do you call male ballerinas?
30. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
31. If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
32. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
33. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
34. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
35. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
36. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
37. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
38. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
39. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?


REMEMBER EACH DAY IS A NEW BEGINING!!!

I would say with number two its when someone is willing to pay to have it done for them... though still thinking on matters when its just s lone gunman

[Caer Ibormeith]

Too true...I never knew someone was going to reply or even read this...I thought it was too stupid.

[Larrin]

1. Yes, but your tears will disolve into the water emmediately, so no one will know
2. to be assassinated it must be for political reasons, such as A)to remove that person from office (abe lincon) B) to stop that persons political movement (Martin luther king) C) to invoke terror in the population that is associated with the individual etc.
3. bank have branches because they are similar to trees, but not in fact trees. also money doesn't grow on banks so it doesn't matter if they have branches or not.
4. first, not all bread is square, in fact most bread isn't completely square, it depends how it was baked, and sandwich meat is round becuase they are descedants of sauages which were originally encased in intestines, which are cylindrical, so when cut, they are round.
5.the extra penny if because people value their own opinion more then someone elses.
6.nope, heavenly garments washed white as snow, look it up in Revelations.
7. all pizza comes in square boxes (there are many examples of square pizza), the fact is, round boxes are a real pain in the a$$ to make cheaply, and fold together, while square ones are quite simple.
8. well aside from the fact uncooked ham has all sorts of nasty parasites, it is actually "cured" as a preventative measure against spoiling
9. because when we put men on the moon, air travel was still expensive and less common, so only the rich traveled by air, which is the venue in which wheeled luggage became most practical. rich people paid for someone else to carry their luggage, while poor people had to pack it all in their car, effectively putting luggage on wheels. besides, the man on the moon had government funding, that always helps give an edge.
10. when babies do sleep, they are completely out of it, and barely move, ie they sleep very soundly just not for long.
11. yes, because the people that are doing the "hearing" is not the deaf person, it is the lawyers and the judge, and jury, the majority of which will NOT be deaf. very few lawyers and judges are deaf (if any) and they are the important ones.
12.no, pepsi is better then coke, they all know it and respect the persons right to choose. and if you drink coke at a pepsi plant you have to wear the "stupid" hat.
13. you are still IN a series thats ON TV, ie Tim Allen starred as Tim Taylor IN home improvement. and stars IN movies are ON the big screen. thus being IN a movie is related to being IN a serries. also you turn a TV ON, but you go IN to a movie theater. :P
14. People are never happy with what they have or where they are, they'll always pay to look somewhere else.
15. because NO ONE wants to have to deal with a 50 person presidential debate (look at the california governor elections that resulted in Arnold winnning, there were nearly 100 potentials and it was a mess) besides, 50 contestants for miss america means 100 sets of...well i'm sure you can image why people might want alot of women in bikini's.....
16. most people feel nervous when undressing in front of someone (although you can make alot of money doing it..) the doctor lets yhou be alone while you undress so that you can come to terms with being naked and then comes in, causing less stress on the patient, its a psychology thing.
17. no one, when you have a heart attack, you usually aren't in any condition to call anyone. a coworker would simply do what they normally do, which is alert the ambulance team, just as if they had been called.
18. anything relating to your legs is plural "a pair of pants" "trousers" "shorts" (underwear is both plural and singular) you have two legs, for some reason that has given rise to the convention of leg related items being pluralize. (note skirt is sigular becuase it doesn't have leg two holes just the one)
while a bra also deals with two, cough, things, but in many forms (such as a sports bra) does not have two seperate compartments, thus nothing terribly plural about it.
19. nope, just a buch of oddly shaped noodles (think how you would fair with chineese alphabet soup)
20. A) humans are also mammals, so they are fammiliar with the concept of females giving milk B) they probably watched a baby cow drink out of it and think, well, the cow will probably fuss less then my wife....
21.there are many undecent humans in this world
22.frezers are smaller and easier to see into, plus, the heat from a light bulb WILL melt things if the door is open too long, so it is better not to have it in there. plus freezers tend to get packed full, so you'd end up covering the light anyway.
23.habit, plus no one ever told me to smile for a drivers liscence, and if you're really drunk, you might be smiling. also, if you use your liscence as ID to get into a bar or something, it is likely you will smile.
24. Jimmy crack corn is a song that was sung by american slaves and had a hidden meaning that was derogitory towards their masters, so it was their way of "giving it to the man" with out him knowing. it may have also had use for the underground railroad.
25.nope, the secoundary person must be visibly sitting in a seat, and very few people want to do that with a corpse (its probably illegal, or at least a bad idea). but a hearse carrying a person has right of way (all funeral possions do, they don't need to stop at traffic lights either) so they wouldn't need to use it anyway.
26. because fixing a whole in a boat is a job for an engineer, not a scientist.
27.little kids do (actually they often grip that area) and it makes people uncomfortable, so they are trained not to. also, the most famous person to use his hands to indicate his crotch is michael jackson, and he's not the better off for it...
28. they evolved differently, pluto fills the role of faithful animal companion (which has a four leg requirement) while goofy is comic relief and was introduced to be a contemporary of micky, who walked upright so his contemporaries needed to as well.
29. ballerinas
30.yes, yes, though ones that never had sight probably have less tangible visual effects
31. no restaurants deliver that far out in the desert, but ACME will ship things anywhere.
32. petrolium
33. nope, morality comes from ethics.
34. nope, in Tom and Jerry, and Itchy and Scratchy there are numerous traps set up and operated by mice.
35.yes, with some rythmic variations
36. to make sure i was right.
37. it being called an asteroid has nothing to do with its relation to a hemmisphere, its a term from latin. hemorrhoid comes from the the latin Hemo (not hemi), which relates to blood (hemoglobins, hemophilia, etc) refering to the enlarged blood vessels that cause the discomfort of hemorhoids
38.nope, i don't blow in dogs faces.
39. i didn't and i'm thankful for it.


IF YOU DON'T WANT ANSWERS, DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!

[Caer Ibormeith]

Thank you! I thought no one would be smart enough to know that I wanted answe4r!

[Larrin]

oh trust me, i never lack for thinking i'm smart enough.......:P

heh if you didnt do it Larrin. I would of. lol. I like some of your answers...nope..i dont blow in dogs faces hehe

[Vash]

man and people say I don't have a life man. Larrin I thought you were in grad school what gives slaking off are we?

[Caer Ibormeith]

Well, he's not that bad...I came up with most of the questions...

[Larrin]

Summer school, Vash, no classes and oly 13 students instead of 30, i only have to work 3 days a week, and its only a quarter of the work when i do.

but yeah, i did waste a good hour typing out the answers, but i think people have a right to know.

if ignorance is bliss, i will single handedly bring misery upon untold thousands!!!!!!