Funny Quotes

[Tarsha]

I found this and thought some of them were funny.

"Why did everyone like the mushroom? - 'Cause he was a fun-gi!"

"Life is like detention, you never know what you are in for."

So there's two blondes in Texas having a discussion. One goes to the other: "Which do you think is farther? Florida or the Moon?" The other replys with "Helllooo?? Can you see Florida???!!"

"I wonder why lemon juice is made from atificial flavoring but dish-detergent is made fron real lemons."

"If TV"s so bad for you, why do they have one in every hospital room?"

"If on the lable it says made with real chocolate, then what wereyou eating before?"

I dream of a better tomorrow...where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about there motives."

"This morning I thought God was trying to communicate with me by creating a message in my alphabet cereal that said "OOOOO"......but then i realized that I was eating Cheerio's...."

"If there are other fish in the sea then why the hell do i keep going after all the sea weed?"

"Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework. "

Once upon a time a blonde joined her local library. After hours of indecisive browsing she finally chose a book and rushed home excitedly to read it. Several days later, she returns and, slamming the book angrily onto the counter, exclaimed, ‘This book is really boring. It had too many characters and far too many numbers. Give me something more interesting.’ At that the librarian turned to his colleague and happily announced, ‘Hey Bill stop the search - we’ve got the phone book back!’"

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine..

For a guy to talk dirty to a chick it's sexual harrassment but for a girl to talk dirty to a guy it costs $3.50 a minute.

Come to the Dark Side...We have cookies

three men were living in one apartment.They had not a dime to their name and only one peice of boloney.They decided that night whoever had the best dream the next morning would be rewarded w/ the boloney.The first man awoke and said he dreamed he had a pot of gold.The next said he dreamed he married a celeb.The next said"YANKEE DOODLE WENT TO TOWN A RIDING ON A PONY WHILE U WERE ASLSEEP I ATE THE PEICE OF BOLONEY."

[Vash]

Lol I knew of the first blonde joke I got Larien with a long time ago. Man her responce didn't make this joke any better.

[Caer Ibormeith]

I'm a brunette...I was born blonde and i was a bleach blonde. I'm glad that i changed!