Top 17 Fatal Things to Say If Your Wife is Pregnant...

[Caer Ibormeith]

17.) I finished the oreos.

16.) Not to imply anything but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds...

15.) Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a kid...

14.) I sure hope your thighs aren't going to stay that flabby forever.

13.) Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Superbowl.

12.) Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.

11.) Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea, damn that's gotta hurt!

10.) Whoa, for a minute there I thought I had woken up next to Willard Scott!

9.) I'm jealous...Why can't men enjoy the experience of childbirth?

8.) Are your ankles supposed to look like that?

7.) Get your *own* ice cream.

6.) Jeez, you're awfully puffy looking today.

5.) Got milk?

4.) Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.

3.) Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!

2.) REtaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water!

And the number one thing that you should never say to your wife if she's pregnant is...

1.) You don't have the guts to pull that trigger...