Wal-Mart Funny
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and
have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your
husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are
listed below.
Mr. Wally Jizz
President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department
MEMO
Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done
while his spouse is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. Aug. 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept. 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Sept. 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept. 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cryand
asks ''Why can't you people just leave me alone?''
9. Oct. 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov. 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dec. 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.
12. Dec. 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. Dec. 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec. 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voicesagain!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. Dec. 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a
while; then, yelled, very loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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