Hotel's soapy service leaves guest in a lather.

[Dungeon Keeper]

The following correspondence initially appeared in the Sunday London Times. The dialogue actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests.
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Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial.

Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

S. Berman
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Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. she will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the three hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested.

The six bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the three bars I left today, in accordance with my instructions from the management to leave three soaps daily.

I hope this is satisfactory

Kathy Relief, Maid
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Dear Maid,
I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap.

When I got back to my room this evening, I found you had added three little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-sized Dial. I won't need those six little Camays that are on the shelf. they are in my way when I am shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman
My day off was last Wednesday the relief maid left three hotel soaps, which we are mandated to do by management.

I took the three soaps that were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet from your convenience.

I didn't remove the three complimentary soaps, which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet fro all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Your regular maid, Dotty
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Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this a.m. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give them my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Thank you

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
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Dear Miss Carmen,
It is not possible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 a.m. and don't get back before 5:30 or 6 p.m. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today since she left another three bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with regular delivery of three bars on the bathroom shelf. In just five days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soap. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
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Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-sized Dial is missing. every bar of soap was taken from my room, including my own bath-sized Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me four little Cashmere Bouquetes.

S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave three bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.

Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager
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Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bare of soap.

I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my own damn bar of bath-sized Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-sized Dial. Please give me back my bath-sized Dial.

S. Berman
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Dear Mr. Berman
You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing, so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays that had been taken and the three Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the four Cashmere Bouquets.

Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the three daily Camays.

I don't know where you got the idea that this hotel issues bath-sized Dial. I was able to locate some bath-sized Ivory, which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
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Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up to date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

• On shelf under medicine cabinet: 18 Camay in four stacks of four and one stack of two.
• On Kleenex dispenser: 11 Camay in two stacks of four and one stack of three.
• On bedroom dresser: One stack of three Cashmere Bouquets, one stack of four hotel-sized Ivory and eight Camay in two stacks of four.
• Inside medicine cabinet: 14 Camay in three stacks of four and one stack of two.
• In shower soap dish: Six Camay, very moist.
• On northwest corner of tub: Six Camays in two stacks of three.

This brings me to a total of 63 Camay, 4 hotel-sized Ivory and 3 Cashmere Bouquets.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than four have a tendency to tip.

May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.

One more item: I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial, which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstanding.

S. Berman

[Vash]

Oh man this is great.

O_o ................. hehehehehe!!

i'd be annoyed

I absolutely love his last letter...the perfect way to sarcastically make one feel like an idiot. I hope he managed to keep that bath-sized dial bar safe in that locked-up vault...

somehow i doubt it would be safe

Did you know your avatar is pretty?

lol yeah

[Vash]

*Coughheshittingonyoucough*

is he?