How to tell a wolf is in your bed

[Dungeon Keeper]

• If you hear a soft panting sound, but no one else is in the room...
• You wake up with wet feet.
• Your "Stuffed toy dog" insists you feed him vension for dinner.
• You find yourself cleaning your bed more often due to shedding.
• Every time you lie down, a big furry wolf emerges from the sheets to nuzzle you to sleep.
• A distinct whining sounds emits from beneath the bed, but nothing has occured there to cause the wheels to need oiling.
• You begin to wonder exactly where the neighbours emptied out the kiddy pool.
• You wake up in the middle of the night to realize you just let the dog out, only you don't have one.
• When you and your boy/girlfriend are alone in bed, you aren't really alone.
• When you make your bed, there's always a lump that just won't go away.
• Your duvet won't fluff up.
• Suddenly pillow fights take a lot more effort.
• You wake up to find you've lost the use of your limbs because something is on top of you.
• The lint screen in your dryer is no longer resembling a lint screen when you go to clean it, rather, it looks like a tiny fur coat.
• You stay warm at night, even when the heater's broken.
• When you come back from the washroom, and *something* has taken all the covers and rolled them around itself.
• You keep finding used Nylabones under the pillow.
• You wake up with deep claw-marks down your back.
• Your bed's always nice and warm when you get into it, even though you don't have an electric blanket.
• Love-bites have this rather distinctive pattern.
• You come back from the washroom wondering why there was no water in the toilet...
• You dont recall buying 'shag' bed covers.
• The bed seems just as warm when you first get in it as it did when you woke up that morning.
• You find a trail of food scraps and refuse leading from the kitchen to your bed.
• The bed rocks whenever there's a nature documentary on television.
• You feel something climb on the bed, and you think the cat has put on a *lot* of weight.
• Come to think of it, when was the last time your cat slept on the bed?