Why dogs dont use computers

[Dungeon Keeper]

• Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
• Fetch command not available on all platforms.
• Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
• Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
• Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
• Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
• Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
• Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
• Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
• Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
• Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
• Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
• 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
• Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
• SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
• SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
• Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
• Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
• Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
  
  And Finally;
  
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