Husband Lineup

[Dungeon Keeper]

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.

The Lord comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

Said and done, the next time The Lord looked the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

The Lord got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here"

[Dungeon Keeper]

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi, Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been give your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this saturday?
SHE: Sorry, I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, dont be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I cant talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Dont you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: Im a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, whats your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, theres no service today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be therest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

[Vash]

I loved them both its so true.

not always but yes for the most part